When I asked a colleague what was the essential difference between the new Primary school curriculum and the old one, she thought for a minute and said, 'It focuses on the process, not the product'. I find this a very profound and significant concept, and one that we should all try to adopt. The process of living is everything, more important that the goal. The Buddha said that life is a river of becoming. The process of becoming, and changing and developing, is our path which is ever before us. We reach things only to pass them, after we have been enriched by them for a while. All life is constantly in a state of flux, we learn from ancient and modem philosophers. The very earth itself of course changes under duress of natural upheavals and as a consequence of human intervention. Mankind has changed from primitive life forms through evolution and natural selection. Our bodies change from year to year, and are ravished by illness.
Think of the most precious possession you have. It will eventually and inevitably disappear, disintegrate, or be recycled. Those things that have lasted over many centuries have mostly been modernized and refurbished by those who care - as for example this church, which is to undergo a major facelift.
These changes are not only physical. Those are the more obvious ones. More importantly, our relationships change, our opinions, our priorities, our values, our interests, our loves, hates, and desires. This is not to be deplored, it is a sign of healthy normal development. It could be a cause of concern if we did not change. When my children were g rowing up, the big question was always "¢¢hat are you saving up for?' They were constantly saving up for something., and their friends likewise. At first it might have been a new bag of marbles. That changed to a bicycle, then maybe a new outfit (that one lasted a very long time!) then holiday travel, university fees, a car, then suddenly it was all about washing machines and refrigerators. Houses, mortgages, and deposits soon followed. Weddings, etc. followed. So there you are, from marbles to mortgages. The only thing that doesn't seem to change, is human nature; and it is this that gives us a link with the past, a sense of unity with history, the ability to get inside the mind of someone from long ago and understand his feelings and motivations.
According to Buddhist doctrine, the soul is not immortal as such, but is reborn in new lives in the karmic cycle of which we are all a part. During the time it is not in a body, it is absorbing the lessons of past lives. It reemerges, changed. This is a doctrine I do not fully understand and I still find it problematic, but the point I want to make now is that the soul also is a part of this everlasting cycle of change and development.
As we struggle toward enlightenment and understanding, battling with forces that seem to detain us, all we can do is savour the process of becoming, and be acutely aware and awake to every small part of it. Every small advance can be regarded as a milestone. Our progress is characterized by a certain 'divine discontent'. The minute we stop, with a sigh of relief, and say 'here I am, here let me stay,' we begin to decline. In the words of the poet Edmund Holmes, I find life's treasure in this endless quest, And peace of mind in infinite unrest. Emerson said, Only in his transitions is man great, not in his goals.
Life is a bridge: pass over it, but build no house upon it. (Chinese proverb)
This does not mean we should not have homes and houses and a reasonable measure of security. It does mean that we should not allow ourselves to become too attached to anything or anyone. It means that we should not foolishly imagine that these things will outlast our need for them. Those families who foolishly imagine they can make their mark on their property and call it by their own name, may succeed for a time, but inevitably families die out, money runs out, buildings fall into disrepair, land is sold, the developers move in. Sic transit gloria mundi. Robert Louis Stevenson said, 'To travel hopefully is better than to arrive'. Arrivals can be disappointing, they can leave one with a strange sense of emptiness - where now? I have known people who have spent years of sacrifice trying to get to some position in life, some job, some social status or property, only to find that it was not what they wanted after all. Such people, if they have focused only on their goal, ignoring the process, they would feel cheated by life, and aggrieved by a sense of wasted years. Nothing we do is ever wasted, only if we let it be so. The story of the film Room at the Top, which I saw years ago, chronicles how a man from very humble working class origins managed to get into the upper echelons of society, marry the daughter of a rich mogul, and live their life. He found it intolerable, the people he had to work with, the dishonesty, the standards he was expected to adopt, all filled him with disgust.
Our spiritual goals, the only ones that count, are usually way out of reach. These goals may be greater self knowledge; the courage to follow our own star; greater understanding of others and problems faced by all of us; greater tolerance and less judgment of those who differ from our standards of behaviour; greater love in its broadest sense as a motivation for our actions. That is the most important one. Of course it is easy to love the loveable; and thank God for the loveable people in our lives who bring us such joy. Love for the unlovely, for those who bring us pain and exhibit challenging behaviour, and ultimately for those we have never seen but with whom we feel the link of common humanity - these are the things we strive for.
If we say to ourselves, 'I will never achieve these goals, I might as well just stop trying,' then we give up and fall into depression. But trying is just the whole point! Even a small achievement is a triumph. Gaining a new insight into a difficult situation or accepting a painful choice, is a triumph. Just experiencing the joy of giving - real giving, not just getting rid of something you don't want anyway, is a milestone along the road. When did you last take a positive and identifiable step toward one of these goals?
A friend of mine was urging a group of young people to write a letter of protest on behalf of someone who was being badly treated in a far-off country. One young girl asked what could happen to her if she wrote this letter. My friend answered, 'you will instantly become a better person.' Now that is not what the girl meant. We all know what she meant. I thought that was a brilliant answer.
So let us be aware of our milestones, and savour the process, and travel hopefully.
Amen

Dorene Groocock
Dublin Unitarian Church 15th December 2002