I have never been attracted to shopping for clothes or wearing make up but I do love to go to the hairdressers; a quick trim will not do for me. When I go to the hairdressers I like to have my hair coloured, Conditioned, highlighted my head massaged-you name it and I'm Willing to give it a try. I'm not alone in this; hair has been referred to as a woman's crowning glory. In the Islamic and other traditions hair is regarded as being a major sexual attraction; a majority of women will cover their hair in public as a sign of modesty. Men are also getting in on the act and are more than willing to give nature a helping hand -having their hair coloured and styled. Most men have a horror of losing their hairs far as I am aware there is only one neon advert in Dublin that has a preservation order on it; it is on South Great Georges St. and it is and advert for a clinic that offers a cure for baldness. When a diagnosis of Cancer is given-with all the implications of Chemotherapy and radiotherapy -one of the first questions often asked is "will the treatment cause me to lose my hair"? Our hair is a central part of how we see ourselves.
The Times recently had a short article about a Buddhist nun who has opened a coffee shop in Belfast. It is hoped that this shop will provide a neutral venue where people can come together to get to know one another. The Buddhist nun had her head staved and she mentioned that she shaved her head to constantly remind herself that she should "not seek happiness outside of her head". The phrase caught my attention; I realised that we seek happiness everywhere except within ourselves.
The human mind works at a phenomenal pace sending and receiving messages, processing information and making sense of our world. MRI Scans allow us to see brain activity and even when we are resting our mind is a hive of activity. Eastern religious practices are aimed at calming the mind; they attempt to bring order to our thoughts. They say that rather than reacting to every fleeting impulse that passes through our mind we should become aware of the impulses we are responding to; this awareness will enable us to live in full consciousness of our actions and perhaps more importantly conscious of the motivation for our actions.
In Ireland for a good proportion of the population not only fail to look within their head for happiness but they expend a good deal of time and money trying to escape from themselves by way of drink and drugs. Our slang terms for being drunk state the position clearly how often do we hear the expression "out of his head" "out of his tree" etc. Undesirable as drinking to excess and drug taking is; it is a problem for a minority; most of the rest of us have different but equally effective ways running away from what is happening in our deepest mind.
We seem to be engaged in a constant effort to live anywhere except within ourselves. In this pursuit we have become "human doings" rather than "human being". Not only are we intent on filling all our hours with activity but we engage our children in constant activities as well. A parent who does not sign Johnny or Mary up for organised after school activity is rather thought of a being a bad parent. If young people are not engaged in some activity; they are regarded with suspicion "hanging about will lead to trouble". But just maybe these young people are taking time to think, to make sense of their world or just to be. We all know that happiness is not to be found in material possessions; we know the theory but we still spend a good deal of our time acquiring and caring from possessions. We have fallen for the idea that people who are happy and successful have an immaculate home that is colour co-ordinated and spotlessly clean, the idea/home as seen in the media looks rather as if no one really lives there. We spend our time like hamsters on a wheel we keep running with all our might; we are living life on auto pilot rather than living our life consciously and deliberately. Life for us seems to have become like a video played at the fast forward setting. We constantly seek to try to be one step ahead to anticipate what is to come. We live to-day outside of the present in expectation of a better future but the future never comes.
Another manifestation of our need to escape our present is our efforts to distract ourselves with events we need to celebrate. Not very long ago we celebrated Christmas, a birthday; perhaps those in the first glow of romantic love sent a Valentine Card and perhaps Mother's Day. Easter was just marked by lots of prayers. Now we have New Year, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Festival ( about a week) Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day, Halloween. Christmas etc. we have even begun to borrow celebrations from other countries. Celebrating the 4th of July and Bastille Day!!!. is becoming fashionable. Thursday's paper i.e. 3rd Jan had this ad "Festivities Over! Have a little treat for yourself you deserve it" In between these celebrations we fit in a spring/autumn break and the regular two weeks summer holiday. I am all in favor of Celebrations but we can only appreciate a celebration if the event provides a contrast to the ordinary routine of life. Shakespeare said "If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work." Another feature of our lifestyle is our need to have exactly what we want when we want it. We are no longer content to enjoy the seasons as they unfold we import food and flowers from the other side of the earth cheer us up Winter is so dreary let's have daffodils and Strawberries in December!! The real wonder of Daffodils is that they are the first flowers to pick after the long months of winter. The constant gratification of our desires jades our senses and it is very detrimental to the planet. To appreciate celebrations we need to have experienced the opposite the mundane, the difficult, to have known the hard times.
A new development that has entered our lives and for me demonstrates this restless seeking to escape from our inner selves is the popularity of reality television. We cannot bear to live within ourselves yet given the opportunity we find the other peoples lives to be utterly compulsive viewing. That is a much safer option. I have never watched Big Brother and perhaps this is a good thing because I confess that I am addicted to similar programmes. I wonder if the fascination of these programmes is that participants allow us to see them as they actually are warts and all? Is it that we would like to have the courage to do the same? To say to all" this is the real me, take me or leave me"? Last year we had the ultimate in this type of voyeuristic TV..; we were able to view the spiritual journey of a group of volunteers. A number of women entered a convent for six weeks. The women were from different backgrounds, clearly none of them were nuns in waiting and obviously they were chosen so that their lifestyles would provide the maximum contrast with the life of a nu There were the predictable difficulties for them in settling into convent life, a life of simple physical work, many periods of prayer and long long silences without any distractions. To begin they nearly went crazy in the silence but eventually when they ceased to struggle against this type of life they began to change. I was fascinated to watch the changes that occurred in the women over this short period; they left the convent as different people Equally interesting was to see the actual distress caused to the community of nuns by the intrusion of noise into their contemplative lifestyle; several of the nuns were on the verge of nervous collapse. For those who have made the journey within to their deepest self, who have found their happiness within; they are truly content and have no wish to re enter the crazy noisy world that we inhabit.
I doubt if anyone of us is prepared to enter a monastery right now but this does not mean that we cannot take some steps to improve our spiritual health. All of the religious traditions have advice on what is needed and all of them are in agreement on what we need to do. Where there is consensus we Unitarians would be ill advised to ignore the advice.
We need to devote time and effort on our spiritual development. The Buddha spent six years seeking enlightenment, six years of constant unrelenting effort; spiritual growth does not come in a bolt of lightning, there is no quick fix. The constant refrain in the Christian scriptures is that "Jesus went away by himself to pray". Muslims pray five times each day. To make a beginning I suggest that for the next week you should set aside a short period - say three minutes in the morning and again in the evening to pray, to meditate or just to be still. For this 180 seconds sit comfortably, and be aware of yourself. Do not let your mind stray try to just be aware of yourself. You are a totally unique human being, acknowledge the wonder of your existence, you are in this life for a purpose, you have no idea of what the future holds all you have is this present moment. Resolve to live each moment as if it were to be you last one. Before your return to your routine embrace all of humanity with loving thoughts and give thanks for your existence.
We should try to live simply, where material goods are concerned remember that less is better. Again all religious traditions advise periods of fasting. Fasting is probably a step too far for us right now but I suggest that once or twice during the next week that in some way or other we defer gratifying our senses. Say you usually have a coffee and biscuit at 11 don't have one and when you have your next cup of coffee note how much nicer it tastes and savor each mouthful. You could even go a step further and give the price of a coffee and biscuit to Goal.
Take a few moments to connect with nature. To listen to the birds to watch the trees to feel your connection with the Universe and to give thanks for all the gifts that we have been blessed with and have not earned.
These are small steps they will not transform us into a Buddha, Jesus or Mahatma Gandhi but no step is wasted. One good habit will lead us on to another and we are logical people when we see that something is benefiting us we will be encouraged to persist with our efforts.
Amen.

Rev.Bridget Spain

Dublin Unitarian Church, 7th January 2007
Cork Unitarian Church, 14th January 2007