As I get older year by year, my memory’s getting worse,
So in case I can’t remember that, I’ve put it down in verse!
At first it was quite trivial, like forgetting to shampoo,
But now it’s getting serious - I’m not sure what to do.

Before I go out shopping I try to write things down,
For I just can’t trust my memory when I go into town.
I make a note of all I want so nothing will be missed,
Then at the shops I find that I forgot the bloody list!

A really strange phenomenon which makes me ill at ease,
Is spending half my waking hours just trying to find my keys.
I search the house upstairs and down, it’s like a pantomime,
And then I see that they were in my pocket all the time!

My glasses are another thing I constantly mislay,
I forget where I last had them, it happens every day.
I leave them in the bathroom, in the car and in the hall,
And if my sight gets any worse I won’t find them at all!

I go to get my dictionary for the meaning of a word
But it’s “gone” before I’ve looked it up – it’s really so absurd.
I’ve tried various mnemonics like a pebble in my jeans
But later, when I see it, I’ve forgotten what it means.

I also have a problem remembering someone’s name.
They’ll smile and say, “How are you?” Then it’s like a guessing game.
My brain cells must be dying, my memory’s so rotten,
It’s ever so embarrassing admitting I’ve forgotten.

I go upstairs to fetch something and when I reach the landing
I’ve forgotten what I went for, it’s beyond all understanding.
I’ll tie knots in my handkerchief, that’s never known to fail,
Next I’ll forget my trousers and land myself in jail!

If ever I forget myself and say things disrespectful,
Please don’t think I’m impolite, it’s just that I’m forgetful.
I trust that you’ll forgive me for my lapse from courtesy,
And I hope you won’t forget me when I’m just a memory!

John Ward March 2006