After the Fatted Calf was eaten. The Parable of the Prodigal Son as told in St. Luke’s Gospel is one of the best known and best loved of the parables of Jesus. It is so well known that we use the expressions in our everyday conversation “The prodigal son” and “kill the fatted calf”. It is such a reassuring story; God will not only forgive us our sins immediately that we ask for forgiveness but the forgiveness will be wholehearted; there will be no residue of resentment no recriminations just celebrations. We all at one time or another are in need of forgiveness; this assurance of God’s forgiveness gives us a warm cosy glow; we cling to this parable as children hold their security blanket. Earlier this year, chatting to Bill, I said that I intended to give this address; Bill was very definite that the parables in the Gospels have a single very important message and that the message in the story of the Prodigal Son is the all embracing “Forgiveness of God” I can’t agree with Bill, For me that is all “pie in the sky when you die” and is of no value to us in the cut and thrust of daily living. I also believe that it is humanity ascribing attributes to the Deity that suit our purposes. At our Bible study class Doreen Groocock made us laugh with the retort used by one wit: “We love to sin; God loves to forgive us; where is the problem? Everyone is happy!!” God may find forgiveness easy. The problem is that forgiveness for humanity is another matter entirely. However if you look at this story, from the point of view of the brother who remained at home; look at how his life was affected by the actions of his family, there is much wisdom to be gained. This is the meat of living life, not looking at a possible hereafter through rose tinted spectacles. For me, the really intriguing part of the story of the Prodigal Son, and I think the more important part, is the situation of the other son. The story has a wonderful happy ending for everyone except him. It is all sweetness, light and happy families for everyone else. I believe that closer examination of the other brother’s predicament and his very understandable reaction contains some very important lessons for us; if we are willing to learn them. I would love to know what happened in that family in the years that followed!! I have the greatest of sympathy for the faithful brother. We all know exactly how he feels; it is quite likely that we have been in the same or at least a similar situation. We all believe that life as far as possible should be fair. This is not our experience, but it continues to be our expectation. And in this story life was not fair to - let’s call him Peter. His expectation was that he and his brother would work for their father and on the death of the father that each would inherit 50% of the estate. What happened? One son took his share and disappeared from home; from all accounts spent his fortune on wine women and song. He ended up as a down-and-out living on the streets! When this son demanded his share of his inheritance what were the implication for the family? Did they have to sell some assets did the other brother have to work twice as hard to provide for the family? Having worked on the farm all day, I have no doubt but that his evenings were spent listening to his parents worrying about and bemoaning the actions of the other brother. That alone would be a cause for some considerable annoyance. Human nature does not change over time, and I’m sure that the actions of this brother would have been a cause of shame and embarrassment for all the family; fodder for gossip among the neighbours. We all like to bask in the reflected glow of our successful relatives; we tend to disown the less successful ones. This situation would have been a major skeleton to have in the cupboard. When Peter returned from the fields he heard music and dancing – no one had even bothered to send for him to tell of the return of this brother or that there was a major celebration taking place in his home. As the eldest son he was deserving of respect and he was totally ignored by all and sundry. I expect that his instinct was not to kiss his long lost brother!!!! He stayed outside to vent his frustration until his father went out to offer him an explanation. Did his father’s reassurance that all that “all that I have is thine” make everything all right and was he able to join wholeheartedly in celebrating the return of his brother? Perhaps he was able to share his father’s joy at the return of his brother; but I very much doubt it. This parable has many lessons for us. First, we must be aware that there are no certainties in life. We may be a committed worker, honest and do everything by the book but this is no guarantee that life will run smoothly for us. Peter’s life seems to have been all work and no play; “you never gave me a kid that I might make merry with my friends” he tells his father. Work is an important part of our lives, but it should always be a part not the entirety. We should work to live not live to work; we should make time for our family and friends. We should make time for ourselves; keep a balance between work and play. Working for the accumulation of wealth alone will never bring happiness. When the world we have created with the illusion of permanence comes crashing down around us this is when we will appreciate the value of having real friends. There are other lessons for us in this Parable. The father in the story is taken by surprise at the anger and resentment of Peter. We see that it is good to think about and care for those who share our lives. Let’s remember the simple things like “please”, “thank you”, and just to let the people who share your life know that you appreciate them. It is remembering to apologise to those we have hurt. If my actions have really hurt another human, I must try to repair the damage. When someone is hurting as the result of my actions, of what value is it to the one who is hurt is it if I ask God’s forgiveness? Forgiveness is the major lesson of this parable; I am more intrigued by the idea of human forgiveness rather than Divine forgiveness. Did Peter become reconciled with his brother and live happily ever afterwards? We are not told, so I will go through the possible options. The minute that his father spoke to him, all the happy memories of his younger brother flooded back; he remembered the brother that he had loved and went in to welcome him with open arms. He was overjoyed at his return, and from that day on they were totally inseparable and lived in contentment for years to come. This is a possibility, but I think not very likely; to be able to forgive like this requires extraordinary depth of character– it requires someone of the stature of Gordon Wilson. His instant Christian response to the death of his daughter Marie was truly remarkable. It was so unexpected that it stopped us in our tracks; it was God’s type of forgiveness. Perhaps he spent the rest of his life angry with his brother, did his anger fester in him infecting the remainder of his life with bitterness? I certainly hope this was not the case. He would have been the loser for a second time. Maybe he told his brother exactly what he thought of him and felt the better for getting it off his chest, and gradually came to see that his brother had made a bad choice in life and had paid a heavy price for his mistake. With time and persistence he came to the realization that life is too short to hold on to grudges; and he was able to forgive, if not to forget. This is the way for the majority of people; it takes time many attempts to reach a stage where we can forgive someone who has hurt us. But what if we feel that can’t forgive? If we feel that the hurt done to us was just too much for us to forgive? Then we will live as bitter angry people, and we will we let our hurt take the joy from the rest of our existence. When we come to leave this life do we want to be bitter, angry souls, or will we walk the difficult path of seeking peace and forgiveness in our lives? It is so easy to say that even for our own sake that we must forgive hurt caused to us. It is so very difficult to do when we are hurt and angry. I had a pen pal who was on death row. His name was William and we were good friends. We corresponded for several years. He used to draw and paint pictures, and I would sell these and send him the money to enable him to buy extras in the prison shop. It was easy for me to like William and to help him because he had not hurt me. Had I been connected in any way to his victim I’m sure that I would have felt like personally carrying out the death sentence. In the prayer of Jesus we say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” What we are saying here is “if I am not willing to forgive other then don’t forgive me” Again words are easy, but then Jesus never said that to follow his example was the easy option. What he said was that followers must “take up their cross daily” to follow him. Another way that you love your enemy is this: When the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy, that is the time which you must not do it. There will come a time, in many instances, when the person who hates you most, the person who has misused you most, the person who has gossiped about you most, the person who has spread false rumours about you most, there will come a time when you will have an opportunity to defeat that person. It might be in terms of a recommendation for a job; it might be in terms of helping that person to make some move in life. That's the time you must do it. That is the meaning of love. In the final analysis, love is not this sentimental something that we talk about. It's not merely an emotional something. Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men. It is the refusal to defeat any individual. When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power, you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system. Martin Luther King jr. -1957 We are called to love one another. Learning to forgive is an important step on the road to love. Travelling the road is marked in very small steps; forgiving in done second by second. We need to say “for the next 30 seconds I will not be angry” and deliberately think of something else. The feelings of anger and bitterness will return but gradually they will lessen, and our anger will ease and be replaced with something approaching acceptance. This is difficult, but for our own sake it is our only option. Amen Rev Bridget Spain Dublin Unitarian Church July 22nd 2007 Cover